Advice for Newly Engaged Couples

January 2, 2018

Photo Credit: Krista Lee Photography

Since so many people get engaged over the holidays (did you?) I thought it would be a good time to give offer some engagement tips, now that I have been married for several years.  I also went through the archives and found my engagement photos, which I love (thank you Krista Lee Photography!).  Years later, I still love them!

  1. Communicate, communicate, communicate. Whether it is about what you are having for dinner or what you want to accomplish for the year financially, TALK to each other.  It is so important to have an open dialogue – about everything!  Everyone has different styles of communicating so you will find your groove, but remember that marriage will be easier to navigate if you can share with each other.
  2. Don’t try to change each other. Well, you can encourage your significant other to clean up after themselves or put the dishes in the dishwasher…but don’t try to change the big things.  Hopefully you have discovered each other’s values, deal-breakers and core beliefs before slipping on the ring or popping the question, because those things are the important things that won’t change just because you say “I Do.”
  3. Think about the big picture. Work as a couple towards your goals – whether you want to buy a house, get a puppy, have a child or retire early – put a plan together in place.  Know that life happens and that plans don’t always work, but be on the same page about the big things so you can live towards the same big picture.
  4. Remember what is important and it isn’t the wedding! I had the best wedding ever – it really was the best day of my life. But when the dress goes in the box and the cake has been eaten, the thing that matters is really what that day symbolizes.  For me, it was a day where people from all aspects of my life came together in one place to celebrate me (finally!) finding the love of my life and beginning a journey together.  That was more important than if the flowers were right or if the food tasted great. The wedding is one day, but the marriage is forever.
  5. Your relationship will feel different after you take your vows. It will feel novel at first – saying “husband” and “wife,” but after that wears off, I believe there is an intense difference from before the wedding.  Now, you are no longer dating, you are committed to work through the bad times and celebrate the good with this one person.  It is amazing!

For all of you who have gotten engaged over this holiday season – Congratulations and enjoy the engagement. It really is a special time!

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